Kids conversations

In the car after Chuck E. Cheeses:

Me: They tore the 7-11 down where we used to get Slurpees.
Kaytlynn: I love Slurpees. I like the red ones. The red ones are dog juice.
Me: Dog juice?
Kaytlynn: Yep, dog juice. It's good.
Josh: How long until we get home?
Me: 20 minutes.
Josh: Okay, if anyone is still awake when we get there, can you please wake me up?
Me: I'm pretty sure I'll be awake, because I'm driving.
Connor: That root beer will probably keep Josh up.
Me: No, it shouldn't keep him up because it doesn't have any caffeine.
Josh: Connor is right. I'm still awake. (He was out 20 seconds later.)
Connor: If I'm still asleep when we get home can somebody just tap me and wake me up?

Kaytlynn was the only one sleeping by the time we got home.

There was a spider on the patio steps and I had no shoes on, so I asked Josh to get it. He wouldn't, so I asked the kids friend to get it, but he didn't have any shoes on, so out came Kaytlynn to the rescue. She brought a knife out and squished it. It had a juicy body that popped, so Kaytlynn said: "Oh, that was a grape spider." She's done her share of grape popping.

Josh always says "If you don't get me some pizza right now, I'm gonna spank you." "If you don't play video games with me right now, I'm gonna spank you." Makes me laugh.