Roiled Splotten

Yesterday the kids got a lot of Christmas loot. Connor was playing with one of his many toys and said "Mom, are we roiled splotten?" I asked what and he said "You know, like we got a lot of stuff?" I said "Oh, you mean spoiled rotten?" And he said "Yeah, roiled splotten." He kept insisting that it was roiled splotten. Kaytlynn got an outdoor market and Connor came to shop. Kaytlynn insists that she is the customer, not the cashier. So Connor "bought" almost all the food at the market and Kaytlynn got really mad and said he was going to buy all her stuff. He said "I'm sorry! But I have a whole family to feed." Funny kids. It was a good Christmas. I know we do spoil the kids rotten, but while I think they learn good life lessons when they do without something and when they have to work, I also think to myself 'why not?' They really are only little once and hopefully I won't look back and wish that I had done this differently. I don't think I will.

On a side note, mom took Josh to the dinosaur museum at Thanksgiving Point for his birthday. They rode in Cami's little Mazda Miata. Josh told me it was really bumpy and his cheeks kept bouncing up and down. So cute!

Santas little helper

2 days ago Josh was sitting on the couch whining about something. Kaytlynn came over and was standing right in front of him, staring at him. She said, to nobody in particular-"He is being whiny." Then she opened her little notebook she was carrying and scribbled with her pencil and said "Josh is being whiny." then closed her book and continued to stand and stare seriously at him. He just stopped whining and stared back, then continued whining. It made me laugh so hard!

We got an Elf on the Shelf book. It comes with this little elf that you name and each morning the elf is hiding in a new place. The elf watches everything and reports back to Santa every night. You can't touch the elf or he will lose his magic. You can talk to him but he can't talk back. So we read the story and then the kids went to look for him. He was in an easy spot, on the piano. Kaytlynn found him first. They agreed his name was Mark. Then we went online and registered him and Santa sent a message to the kids. Even if you don't get this book, this website is really neat. It seems 3-D. It is elfontheshelf.com It has recipes for reindeer food and pictures to color and games. Kaytlynn kept going over and sitting on the piano bench and just staring at Mark. I told her she could tell Mark what she wanted for Christmas and Mark would go tell Santa when they were sleeping and if she was good, she would get it for Christmas. She got all shy and looked away. Connor came over and yelled at Mark "I want a scooter!" Kaytlynn was still looking away from Mark and said in a shy, quiet voice "I want a scooter, too." Every time we would leave the room, Kaytlynn would run into the front room to see if Mark was gone. We took Josh to school and when we came back I said it looked like Mark moved a little bit. I wondered if Mark played the piano while we were gone. Connor and Kaytlynn liked that idea and jumped on board. Josh just kept saying that Mark was not real, and how could he fly back to the North Pole if he didn't have wings. I think I was about Josh's age when I learned the secret about Santa. Wonder how long it will last with him. This may be the last year for him! Sad.

Josh's Christmas wish list

I love trying to dechiper what kids cute handwriting says. I also realize that so many words are spelled weird. I think that kids have it right. It should be spelled how it sounds!

Last night

Last night I went and got my hair and makeup done at the school and my mom came to watch the kids and Brad and I went to his company Christmas party. It was a nice dinner at a nice place in South Jordan and then we had a white elephant gift exchange. It was fun. Brad got a Snap on knife and flashlight set so he was pretty happy about that! He loves knives. Then we had some time so we went to see 127 Hours. I hear some stories and become fascinated by them. This happened in May 2003, so right in between Bahrain and Scotland. I remember hearing about it, but didn't think about it much. Then the movie came out and I've totally been looking stuff up on the internet and was just fascinated and really wanted to see the movie. So we finally went and saw it and it lived up to my expectations. It answered a lot of the questions I had. I think they could have added his family members side of things. That would have been interesting, too. It is so amazing what our bodies can handle. And sometimes they just give out for no reason. So this guy, Aron Ralston, his arm got stuck by a boulder. He was stuck out there for 5 days with hardly any food or water. He chipped away at the rock to try to get his arm out, but that wasn't working. Finally he broke his arm and cut it off with a dull pocket knife. Then he still had to climb out of the slot canyon and walk for 8 miles before he found someone. That's just crazy! I wonder if I would do the same thing. Honestly, if I didn't have kids I don't think I would. But if I had my kids, who really rely on me and need me, then maybe I would do it. Me and Brad really are the center of their universe and I think they'd be kinda messed up if that changed while they are so young and innocent and need me. I just don't know. I tend to like to take the easy way out. I can't stand constant pain. But I think I would try it for my kids, but if they weren't around, I probably would just die there. Anyway.......my mom is really good at doing projects with the kids and teaching them new things when she watches them. She really spends quality learning time with them instead of just sitting there while they play. She's taught them how to do housework and cook and all of that. Last time she came, she taught the kids about the world. She taught them how to say "Hello" in different languages. I don't know the spellings, but my kids now know that Chinese is "Nee-how", French is "bonjour", German is "Gutentag", Spanish is "Hola" and they learned Scottish is "Gooday mate." We corrected them so now they know that's Australia. So the project for the night was to make cookies and frost them and take them to the neighbors. So they frosted the cookies and took some next door. The kids sang Jingle Bells. Then they went to the assisted living place across the street. Kaytlynn said "You know, we went to your paycheck." I always say I need to go across the street and get my paycheck, so I guess Kaytlynn thinks that is what that place is called. They talked with a couple of the grandmas over there. There are actually some great great grandmas over there. Crazy! So I thought that was cute what my mom did. When we came home Elijah was sleeping on the couch with Kaytlynns dress up tinker bell skirt on. That kid LOVES dressing up. I thought about buying him a bunch of dress up clothes for Christmas, but no, I won't. I saved this post, so last night was Josh's 1st grade program. He did a dancing part. He danced to "Sail Away" by Enya. I would have expected him to just kind of shuffle around, but he actually danced and didn't stop the whole time he was up there. So proud. It was cute. Connor wanted to take pictures, so I told him he could walk up a little further and get some pictures. He came back and showed me what he took. There was one of Josh's nose and a whole bunch really close up. Nice! I'll have to have Connor be the cameraman again because for some reason I don't think I could get away with that.

Sleep

So I ran out of Ambien on Monday. I get a refill today. On Sunday I got to sleep for awhile in the morning, then hung out with the family, then slept from 8:30 to 10:30. I went to work Sunday night at 11, worked for 8 hours, went straight to the post office and worked for 11 hours, came home and did some stuff. I got in bed at 8 and couldn't sleep. I finally kind of dozed off after 9, but it was not good sleep!! I was up at 10:30 and went back to work at 11. Worked for 8 hours, came home and took care of the kids. Tried to rest, but just couldn't. I became a walking zombie. I was laying in bed and think I finally went to sleep around 5 and got up for work at 2:30! It was good sleep, too, thank goodness!! So yay for 9 hours of good sleep. So I was up for about 43 hours before my body finally let me get a good sleep. Yeah, I'd rather use the Ambien, thanks!

I miss my cousins

I have been missing my cousins more than usual lately. I have a lot of time to think while I'm delivering the mail, and I have been thinking about them a lot. I wonder what would be going on. I'm sure they would both be married with little rug-rats and hopefully living here so our kids could play together. And we could play together! We'd all get together at grandmas house and our kids would play "Don't Eat Pete!" with grandma. I think Tanya would have the oldest kid. I think she would have gotten married before me and probably had a sweet, quiet, shy little girl first. Tanya was so sweet and always concerned about others. She would have made a good mom. Austin would rough house with Jarom and the boys. There was always a lot of laughing when we got together. And card playing. And toilet papering. Austin and I had some deep talks and he always had theories about things. Some of them made me laugh. I watched a muppet meep video and it totally made me think of Austin. He loved the muppets! And not just when he was a kid. We went and watched "Muppets in Space" at the theatre with Autumn in 1999. Austin also made a bunch of funny videos with his friends. In one of them, they had a tire roll through every scene. That was just his sense of humor :) He also told me about how many times he almost crashed in Alaska because they didn't salt the roads so they were all icy. And he laughed when kids threw rocks at him on his mission. He was such a silly kid! We went rock climbing and he made me do a trust jump so he could prove that the rope had me and I wouldn't fall. It took me forever to let go of the rock and jump. He was just yelling at me to jump and telling me that he wouldn't let me down until I jumped. We did some night rock climbing which was so much fun. He used to hike up in the mountains and eat the bugs! When I was staying with my aunt and uncle for a summer, he told me to only do housework when they were watching so they thought I was helping out a lot. He said to be sure to vacuum while my uncle was watching tv, so he'd be sure not to miss seeing me clean. He convinced me to plant my face in our combination graduation and eagle scout cake. He really got his face in his corner of the cake. He was smart because he got a lot bigger piece that way. When I moved to Scotland and married Brad, Austin wrote a letter to Brad and warned Brad not to stir my ice cream when I told him not to, because I would pour it on his head. I guess in Idaho one time Austin was being a pest and kept stirring my ice cream and I told him if he kept doing that I would pour it on his head, and that odd child wanted me to do that, so he kept stirring, and I poured! I was in Utah with Josh visiting and Austin decided that Josh's first word should be "Austin", so he just kept repeating his name in Josh's ear over and over again. Josh probably thought he was crazy! And it didn't work. When Austin died and I was at their house, I looked on his shelf in the bathroom mirror, and there was a picture in there of me and him. It is now on my cabinet shelf in the bathroom. There are some awesome pictures of Autumn and Austin singing together. Not serious singing, but funny singing. I wasn't even there, but I could just imagine. The pictures are so cute. I think they were singing primary songs. They were the best cousins ever!

Kaytlynn is such a manly girly girl

We went and saw "Tangled" at the theatre yesterday. It was really cute, but too much for Brad. He cringed every time there was a musical number and said the movie was definitely a mother daughter movie. There was hardly anyone there (Pretty normal for a Sunday at the theatre in Spanish Fork) and there was a guy there with his two boys. Anyway, I sat next to Kaytlynn. She just loved it. She still doesn't know quite how to behave at the movies. She was talking a lot. That mouth just needs to be going. She was saying "Ohh, I like her dress. Oh, I like her hair, but it's too long." Then she was talking about her Whoppers, describing how they are chocolate on the outside and crunchy on the inside. She told me "they are like candy" and "Daddy doesn't like them and Josh doesn't like them and Connor likes them but he doesn't want any right now because he's eating his popcorn. Mommy likes them and I like them." Then she'd do her little giggle. She kept offering me more and when I would say no thanks, she would try to look at my mouth and at my cheeks to see if I was done with what I was eating. Then she would ask me if I was done or if I was still eating the last ones and if I wanted more.

She has been picking her nose and eating whatever she picks lately. The more we tell her it's gross and disgusting, the more she looks straight at us and does it again. In the movie theatre she decided to try her ears. She told me "Mom, I picked my ear wax and ate it, but I didn't like it." Thank goodness! That reminds me of high school when an 18 year old in our ward was engaged to this guy. He was sitting next to her at church and was digging around in his ear, then pulled it out and nudged his fiancee and made her look at his findings on his finger. I really couldn't believe she was going to throw away her single youth for that guy. I'm not sure if she did or not.

Anyway, Kaytlynn farted, fluffed, passed gas, had wind--whatever you want to call it--and of course had to say loudly that she farted and it stunk and laugh. She describes her farts as smelling like somebody pooped in their pants. If she smells something out in public, she is not afraid to describe it. The other night it was "Mom, it stinks out there. It smells like horse poop." So this kid reminds me of an adolescent boy in some ways. She is a very windy child. But then she is so girly in other ways, like loving the movie. I kept looking over at her and she would be feeling her hair, twisting it around her hand. She would start trying to sing the song that Rapunzel was singing. She critiques almost all girls she sees saying whether she likes their hair or not. Her moods swing like crazy. At one minute she is laughing and talking, and at the next she is screaming "NNOOOOOO!" if you don't read her mind. I just have to ignore her when she's like that. She will often stomp off crying into her room and slam the door. Anyway, it's a nail biter to think of what she will be like as a teenager.

Josh got some awesome gifts for his birthday. One of them was nerf guns. We now have enough for the whole family. Brad got the one that holds 6 of the little suction cup bullets--what the heck! Everyone else got guns that held 3 or 4 bullets. We played a nerf gun version of capture the flag. We'd turn off the lights and tip toe around the dark house, hiding behind walls and chairs, then start shooting when we saw someone on the other team. It was a lot of fun. All of the boys were totally sweating. Kaytlynn had a little fit when something didn't go her way and decided she wasn't going to play, but agreed to let us use her as a decoy. She went prancing up the stairs with her gun and almost made it to the base before Brad realized what she was doing and shot her. There were suction cup bullets everywhere when we were done. Sticking to the ceiling, the walls, and windows. I think back to when we played "witches and warlocks" in the dark house as kids. That is what good memories are made of and that's what I was thinking as we were playing--'We're making memories.' There's this guy, Nate, that works at the post office. He always has something witty to say as he's leaving to do his route. One morning as he was leaving, he said "Cara. There is about 3 inches of new snow out there and the fun is for the taking. Let's go out and make some postal memories!"

SO grateful!

I've been wanting to write this for a long time. I just feel like I never have the time to write everything that I think about this subject. I'm just going to write everything as I think it, so there will be no rhyme or reason.

I am so grateful that my Crohns disease is not bad. I got it when I was 10 and I've had some bad times with it, but I haven't been on medication for 7 years, and my health is great!! So many people with Crohns are in and out of the hospital and so sick they have to have surgeries and can't lead a normal active life. The biggest thing my Crohns has stopped me from doing is being a river raft guide. I was able to go on one river raft trip and was able to guide and learn what I needed to learn, but I couldn't do the rest of the weekend trips. I am so lucky this disease has not stopped me from doing much in my life.

I am so grateful to have my kids. Even though they drive me nuts and they are SOOOO hard--the hardest job I've ever had, I am so lucky. Even though they make me crazy every day, they also make me laugh every day. I love seeing Josh and Connor learning to read and Kaytlynn learning to write her name. Even though they have extremely picky eating habits, they are very healthy. None of them have had any major health problems, and for that we are so lucky and I am so thankful. I see so many people now--just everywhere--that are aching to have babies and can't, and so many families who have kids with major health problems or with kids who have died. I can't even stand the thought of that and don't know what I'd do, so I just think about it, hope nothing changes in our family, and feel these huge feelings of gratitude.

I am so grateful for my husband. I honestly think I would shrivel up into a ball in the corner and die without him. Or at least be sent to the Utah State Hospital. For those of you who don't know, that is the place for mental health here. I have major shortcomings and where I can't do something, he takes over and makes sure it gets done. He is amazing. He cooks, he cleans, he helps with homework, he works, he puts the kids to bed every night, picks them up and drops them off at the babysitters, fixes things in the house, cleans up my laptop and scans it for viruses, makes me food to take with me to work, and he takes the kids out everywhere now by himself. He wouldn't take the kids to do anything before while I was at work or sleeping, and he decided to change that, and he did! He takes them to the store, to play laser tag, ice skating, Jumpin' Jacks, basketball games, Disney on Ice--you name it, he will take them. He was also an awesome coach for Josh's soccer team. He works really hard and is spending most of his free time trying to get extra income so I don't have to work as much. I was just thinking about yesterday. I worked all night and came home and slept until 2:30 while Brad took care of the kids and cleaned the house. I got up and took a shower and Brad had all the kids ready to go to Josh's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheeses. He dug around and found a "7" birthday candle, and he called my mom to make sure I had invited her, because I said I couldn't remember if I had invited her or not. We went to Chuck E. Cheeses and he got all the tokens and separated them out for all the kids and made sure they were stocked up all night. He gathered the kids up when it was time for cake and presents, then he got everyone their cake and cups of water, then brought gifts over and handed them to Josh. At the end of the party, he helped my mom find jumper cables and get her car started. We came home and my Dad and Julie came over. My dad and Brad went to pick up some Chinese food, then he got everyone around the table and got dishes out for everybody and water so we could eat around the table together. Then he did all the dishes and I'm sure he did more cleaning and laundry while I took an hour nap before work. Then he went to the store and bought some food just for me, and made a sandwich for me to take to work while I was getting ready. He fills my water bottle and makes sure I have food every night before work. When I work all day at the post office, he gets the kids all ready, drops Josh off at school, drops the other two off at the babysitters, then goes to work all day. He comes home, picks up the kids, gets them started on their homework, makes dinner, and makes sure I have food when I get home. Then he gets the kids to bed while I sleep before work. I complained to him about always having to help the kids with their homework, and he changed that, and now he helps them, too. He is also a food storage fanatic. He is doing everything he can to be prepared and keep us all safe if something happens. He has plans of things we can trade and how long our food will last (He thinks we've got about a years worth.) if something happens. He enjoys reading post apoctalyptic books and getting ideas from those of how to survive :) When we go on a short, easy hike, he has a big heavy, sweaty backpack full of solar blankets and first aid stuff and a compass and knife and sweaters and lots of water. That cracks me up :) So yes, I am so grateful for my husband, his health, and his job. I am so lucky.

I am thankful for my friends and family. What would I do without them? I am surrounded by people who would do anything for me. I have old, wonderful friends who still keep in touch even though we haven't seen eachother in years. I have friends that stop me from going crazy. I have family who is there when I need them and who I know we could turn to if we ever needed anything. So many people don't have their parents or siblings to help them or even just to talk to.

I am grateful for my jobs. For the most part, I love them and they are what makes it possible for us to live the life we live. We are able to buy the things we need and also do the things we want. We are able to give our kids a good life with lots of different experiences. There are so many people without jobs right now, and I feel very, very lucky to not only have a job, but for it to be one I love, and for it to pay enough money. We are lucky that Brad has a job that he loves.

I am so grateful for my health in all areas. If anything were to happen, I couldn't work at the post office. I need the use of my arms, legs, eyes, ears, fingers, back knees--everything. It all has to be in good working condition. I am lucky that I am able to work this job and hope that never changes.

I am grateful for our house. I love our house. We won it in the bid by $60. Best $60 we ever spent. It has everything we need and it is in the perfect spot. It is close to the schools, the parks, the parades, and pretty much every store we need. It is close to the freeway. It is the perfect size for us and we have great neighbors. We haven't had to do any major or expensive work. It is perfect for our family.

I am grateful for central heating. Every time I walk in the door from the freezing cold, usually holding a freezing little girl, and I am hit by that warm wall of air, I am just so incredibly thankful!

I am grateful for our cars. They have gotten us to and from wherever we needed. We have not had any major repairs and they have done their jobs just how they are supposed to. I am so glad that we were in the position to be able to get a minivan when Kaytlynn was born, and get an all wheel drive when Brads job moved to Bluffdale and he has to travel in the snow to work. We are so lucky to have our cars!

I am grateful for happy pills. When you have something to help you from screaming at the kids and not being able to stop yourself, this is good. This will help my kids to remember a happy mom, not a screaming one. I am also thankful for happy pills for him. He sure can be a grump without them! I am also thankful for Ambien. Without it I could not get good sleep that would allow for me to be a mom and work all my jobs. I would be a walking zombie. Someone who wants to sleep, but just can't. I would not be able to function, so thank you Ambien!

There is so much more I am grateful for. Sometimes I get down and look around and see people who have more money than I do and don't have to work. People that don't have to stress about money or health problems. People who don't have kids to strap them down. People who are living the life I used to live, full of travel and fun and excitement. When I focus on what I do have I realize I have SO MUCH!! I am SO LUCKY, SO GRATEFUL, and SO THANKFUL. (Thankful and grateful may mean the same thing, but whatever.) Thank you to everybody who is a part of my wonderful life! I love you!!!