SO grateful!

I've been wanting to write this for a long time. I just feel like I never have the time to write everything that I think about this subject. I'm just going to write everything as I think it, so there will be no rhyme or reason.

I am so grateful that my Crohns disease is not bad. I got it when I was 10 and I've had some bad times with it, but I haven't been on medication for 7 years, and my health is great!! So many people with Crohns are in and out of the hospital and so sick they have to have surgeries and can't lead a normal active life. The biggest thing my Crohns has stopped me from doing is being a river raft guide. I was able to go on one river raft trip and was able to guide and learn what I needed to learn, but I couldn't do the rest of the weekend trips. I am so lucky this disease has not stopped me from doing much in my life.

I am so grateful to have my kids. Even though they drive me nuts and they are SOOOO hard--the hardest job I've ever had, I am so lucky. Even though they make me crazy every day, they also make me laugh every day. I love seeing Josh and Connor learning to read and Kaytlynn learning to write her name. Even though they have extremely picky eating habits, they are very healthy. None of them have had any major health problems, and for that we are so lucky and I am so thankful. I see so many people now--just everywhere--that are aching to have babies and can't, and so many families who have kids with major health problems or with kids who have died. I can't even stand the thought of that and don't know what I'd do, so I just think about it, hope nothing changes in our family, and feel these huge feelings of gratitude.

I am so grateful for my husband. I honestly think I would shrivel up into a ball in the corner and die without him. Or at least be sent to the Utah State Hospital. For those of you who don't know, that is the place for mental health here. I have major shortcomings and where I can't do something, he takes over and makes sure it gets done. He is amazing. He cooks, he cleans, he helps with homework, he works, he puts the kids to bed every night, picks them up and drops them off at the babysitters, fixes things in the house, cleans up my laptop and scans it for viruses, makes me food to take with me to work, and he takes the kids out everywhere now by himself. He wouldn't take the kids to do anything before while I was at work or sleeping, and he decided to change that, and he did! He takes them to the store, to play laser tag, ice skating, Jumpin' Jacks, basketball games, Disney on Ice--you name it, he will take them. He was also an awesome coach for Josh's soccer team. He works really hard and is spending most of his free time trying to get extra income so I don't have to work as much. I was just thinking about yesterday. I worked all night and came home and slept until 2:30 while Brad took care of the kids and cleaned the house. I got up and took a shower and Brad had all the kids ready to go to Josh's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheeses. He dug around and found a "7" birthday candle, and he called my mom to make sure I had invited her, because I said I couldn't remember if I had invited her or not. We went to Chuck E. Cheeses and he got all the tokens and separated them out for all the kids and made sure they were stocked up all night. He gathered the kids up when it was time for cake and presents, then he got everyone their cake and cups of water, then brought gifts over and handed them to Josh. At the end of the party, he helped my mom find jumper cables and get her car started. We came home and my Dad and Julie came over. My dad and Brad went to pick up some Chinese food, then he got everyone around the table and got dishes out for everybody and water so we could eat around the table together. Then he did all the dishes and I'm sure he did more cleaning and laundry while I took an hour nap before work. Then he went to the store and bought some food just for me, and made a sandwich for me to take to work while I was getting ready. He fills my water bottle and makes sure I have food every night before work. When I work all day at the post office, he gets the kids all ready, drops Josh off at school, drops the other two off at the babysitters, then goes to work all day. He comes home, picks up the kids, gets them started on their homework, makes dinner, and makes sure I have food when I get home. Then he gets the kids to bed while I sleep before work. I complained to him about always having to help the kids with their homework, and he changed that, and now he helps them, too. He is also a food storage fanatic. He is doing everything he can to be prepared and keep us all safe if something happens. He has plans of things we can trade and how long our food will last (He thinks we've got about a years worth.) if something happens. He enjoys reading post apoctalyptic books and getting ideas from those of how to survive :) When we go on a short, easy hike, he has a big heavy, sweaty backpack full of solar blankets and first aid stuff and a compass and knife and sweaters and lots of water. That cracks me up :) So yes, I am so grateful for my husband, his health, and his job. I am so lucky.

I am thankful for my friends and family. What would I do without them? I am surrounded by people who would do anything for me. I have old, wonderful friends who still keep in touch even though we haven't seen eachother in years. I have friends that stop me from going crazy. I have family who is there when I need them and who I know we could turn to if we ever needed anything. So many people don't have their parents or siblings to help them or even just to talk to.

I am grateful for my jobs. For the most part, I love them and they are what makes it possible for us to live the life we live. We are able to buy the things we need and also do the things we want. We are able to give our kids a good life with lots of different experiences. There are so many people without jobs right now, and I feel very, very lucky to not only have a job, but for it to be one I love, and for it to pay enough money. We are lucky that Brad has a job that he loves.

I am so grateful for my health in all areas. If anything were to happen, I couldn't work at the post office. I need the use of my arms, legs, eyes, ears, fingers, back knees--everything. It all has to be in good working condition. I am lucky that I am able to work this job and hope that never changes.

I am grateful for our house. I love our house. We won it in the bid by $60. Best $60 we ever spent. It has everything we need and it is in the perfect spot. It is close to the schools, the parks, the parades, and pretty much every store we need. It is close to the freeway. It is the perfect size for us and we have great neighbors. We haven't had to do any major or expensive work. It is perfect for our family.

I am grateful for central heating. Every time I walk in the door from the freezing cold, usually holding a freezing little girl, and I am hit by that warm wall of air, I am just so incredibly thankful!

I am grateful for our cars. They have gotten us to and from wherever we needed. We have not had any major repairs and they have done their jobs just how they are supposed to. I am so glad that we were in the position to be able to get a minivan when Kaytlynn was born, and get an all wheel drive when Brads job moved to Bluffdale and he has to travel in the snow to work. We are so lucky to have our cars!

I am grateful for happy pills. When you have something to help you from screaming at the kids and not being able to stop yourself, this is good. This will help my kids to remember a happy mom, not a screaming one. I am also thankful for happy pills for him. He sure can be a grump without them! I am also thankful for Ambien. Without it I could not get good sleep that would allow for me to be a mom and work all my jobs. I would be a walking zombie. Someone who wants to sleep, but just can't. I would not be able to function, so thank you Ambien!

There is so much more I am grateful for. Sometimes I get down and look around and see people who have more money than I do and don't have to work. People that don't have to stress about money or health problems. People who don't have kids to strap them down. People who are living the life I used to live, full of travel and fun and excitement. When I focus on what I do have I realize I have SO MUCH!! I am SO LUCKY, SO GRATEFUL, and SO THANKFUL. (Thankful and grateful may mean the same thing, but whatever.) Thank you to everybody who is a part of my wonderful life! I love you!!!